The Lost Generation
By Jon Farley
Psychologist Jonathan Haidt describes one of the primary differences between liberals and conservatives as their openness to new ideas. Being open to new ideas includes the willingness to make mistakes along the way, with the assumption that these ideas are reversible and survivable. As we will see, the introduction of smart devices at a young age is one such idea that was assumed to be beneficiary early on, with the promise of unlimited knowledge and education, but has shown to be far more damaging and dangerous than the early proponents could have imagined.
Our culture became so comfortable with the shortcuts that we thought they could replace the the value in our lives. Early on, many people bought into the idea that 20k ‘friends’ on Facebook or Instagram is the same as a real friend; or a person ‘liking’ your picture on Instagram is the same as an encouraging word in real life. As we have grown more fluent in the online world, we have realized that the online world is not the real world. An online friend is not a real, in-person friend. A ‘like’ does not equal a pat on the back or an encouraging word.
The Lost Generation
I’m willing to bet that over the next 30 years, this generation of teens will be looked upon with pity, the lost generation, the kids who never had a childhood. But why have we allowed it to happen? I suspect the answer is not what you think. The vast majority of adults provide tablets and phones to their kids in order to get them to be quiet long enough for the parents to get back to their own phones. It’s a lot easier to get kids to stop bothering you if you give them something designed to keep them addicted and removed from in-person interaction. Once they are quiet, you can go back to your own distractions, which keeps you addicted and removed from in-person interaction.
Let’s do a quick experiment. Take your kids phone away. Is their reaction what you would expect from a hard-core drug user?
Let’s do another experiment. Take your phone away. Are you seeing the same effects?
Phones are a Drug
Phones are the greatest drug ever created. Just look around you. Look at a restaurant, at work, or even people driving cars. Just one more swipe. Just one more click. Just one more refresh. For the entirety of our human existence, children have required, even demanded, frequent interaction for normal development. But somehow, we have decided to let phones raise our kids, assuming there would be no negative affects.
Our culture expects us to be constantly connected. When we text someone, we expect a timely response, at any time of the day; not to mention the constant notifications of smartphones that create an overstimulation of our system. We were not wired to carry the world’s problems and the constant distraction prevents deep, long-term thought, while destroying our normal sleep patterns.
Phone apps, from Facebook to TikTok and Instagram, are all each designed to tap into the brain’s reward system. This is not a passive media that you can walk away from at any time. Most fully-developed adults have little self-control over their phones. Now give that same addictive device to a child without a fully-developed pre-frontal cortex and tell them to manage it on their own.
Let’s put it another way. Would you let your 13-yr old child, play a game in the NFL, or enter the UFC cage? There is no 13-yr old on the planet who has a body developed for that kind of violence. But we have no problem handing them over to apps that have been psychologically-developed by adults to keep them addicted.
Making this problem worse, social media has created a world in which our kids can never escape. Social media is especially impactful on girls, with apps like Instagram and TikTok that invite teen girls, who are suddenly becoming aware of their physical appearance and social standing, to “post pictures and videos of themselves and invite public comment.” This creates a perfect storm for our girls where they compare their actual selves to celebrities’ photos that have been professional selected and run through countless filters, creating an unattainable expectation of perfection. Or maybe it’s a group of their friends who got together without them, just increasing their loneliness from being left out.
I’m not saying that phones are inherently evil. Phones can be used for tremendous good and serve a utility for each of us, but the phone needs to serve us, we shouldn’t serve the phone. Every app that you have is designed to get your attention back. That buzz during church service takes your mind off of the sermon, that buzz during family dinner tears your attention away from your spouse and kids, that desire for the perfect picture means that you don’t actually get to enjoy the moment.
People know this and can say it, but most are unwilling to protect the most important things in our lives, and while sacrificing our peace and our children for just one more swipe.
